How to Know If You’re Moving Toward Something, or Just Away From What Isn’t Working

There are two kinds of moves. The kind where you know exactly what you're going toward, the neighbourhood, the layout, the season of life you're stepping into. And the kind where you mostly know what you're leaving. Both can lead to good outcomes, but one of them tends to land better than the other.

Moving away from something is a completely valid starting point. The house is too big. The neighbourhood no longer fits. The maintenance is exhausting. Something has stopped working, and your body knows it before your mind can put words to it. That awareness is real information. The problem isn't that you want to leave. It's when leaving becomes the whole plan.

When the move is purely about escape, two things tend to happen. The decision-making gets driven by urgency, because you're trying to get out and so you're less patient with finding what's actually right. And the destination becomes less important than the departure. Women who move this way often find themselves in a new home that's better in the ways the old one was bad... and then discover a new set of things that don't quite fit.

Moving toward something is different. It starts with the same awareness, this isn't working, but takes a step further. It asks: what would actually work? What does my life need from a home right now? What kind of neighbourhood, whether in Cloverdale, Langley or South Surrey, supports the way I want to live? What would walking in and exhaling feel like? How to decide between staying and moving can help you get more specific about what the toward picture actually looks like for you.

Most moves I've been part of over nearly 20 years start as away moves and become toward moves through the process, and that's completely normal. The picture doesn't always come first. Sometimes you need to start moving before you can see what you're moving toward. But it helps to be aware of the difference, and to slow down enough to let the toward picture take shape before you commit to a new address. You're not behind, you're just in a different season is worth reading if you're in the in-between right now.

If you're somewhere in that space, clear on what you're leaving but less clear on where you're going, the Balance Method Guide was built for exactly this kind of moment.